


killing me to love you

by fandomsonmysleeve



Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Deet is ooc and Rian is concerned, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Mild Sexual Content, Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21704710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomsonmysleeve/pseuds/fandomsonmysleeve
Summary: a take on what would happen if Rian interacted with a Darkened!Deet
Relationships: Brea & Deet & Rian (Dark Crystal), Brea & Deet (Dark Crystal), Brea & Rian (Dark Crystal), Deet & Rian (Dark Crystal), Deet/Rian (Dark Crystal), Stonegrot
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	killing me to love you

Rian hadn’t been fortunate to get a peaceful night’s rest for over a trine, and this night was like any other. 

Except it wasn’t. 

He managed to doze off after concentrating for hours between the crystal shard Brea had lent to him and the notes he wrote down during the Resistance’s last roundtable session. 

The Gelflings were hard at work figuring out ways to stop the Garthim pillagers. News travelled fast around Thra of each village that had gotten sacked so far. It wasn’t looking too good. It’s not that the Resistance was short on volunteers to try and stop the creatures, but Rian was admin they had a sufficient number of Gelflings who would be available when they finally located Deet. 

Rian frowned. They were no closer to finding out where she was than a week ago. Ever since she turned and walked away from him in the woods, Rian’s mind deluged itself with unpleasant thoughts. 

He missed her terribly and wasn’t sure when he’d see her again. He didn’t even know if she was okay. After the battle at Stone-in-the-Wood everyone was in celebratory mode except for Deet. She just stared at the world around her blankly. Her face and arms were covered with darkened purple veins that masked her natural green color, as well as her eyes which no longer shone brown but instead cast a matching purple shade. She looked ill and in need of help. 

But she turned away from him. She never admitted she took on the Sanctuary Tree’s burden. She pulled away from him earlier that day when he mentioned visiting her home after the fighting was over. Maybe Deet didn’t want to be around him anymore. 

Still, Rian felt contrite. He should’ve continued to follow her through the woods. Deet clearly wasn’t in the right state of mind. He could’ve brought her back to camp where it was safe. 

It was no wonder Rian couldn’t sleep when he constantly allowed himself to brood. He huffed at himself in annoyance and turned on his side. He convinced his brain to think of a happy memory of Deet as an alternative. He thought back to their first meeting. How sweet she had been towards him when everyone else ridiculed him a monster. Rian fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

… 

Rian’s head felt like it was about to burst from pressure. 

One second he was sleeping, the next he was in the Skeksis’ Castle, right inside the Crystal Chamber. Of course, another nightmare to suffer through before dawn. 

Rian prepared himself for the worst until he saw a familiar shadow across the room. He squinted to get a better look. 

It was Deet _._

A very different Deet. She strode up to him with a small smile. 

“Hello Rian.” 

Rian’s mouth was agape. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. 

Deet’s beautiful rump dress was gone and replaced with a black velvet gown. Her hair was in a tight crown braid and her skin had restored to it’s healthy glow. Even her tone of voice was slightly deeper. 

His senses finally kicked in. 

“ _Deet._ You look… you look…” he shook his head reminding himself that it was only a dream. 

“I’m sure whatever you were about to say, it would’ve been a befitting compliment.” She gave him a knowing look. “And no, this isn’t a dream. Not from sleep. We’re in Dreamspace.”

“ _Dreamspace?_ ” He was baffled. “So this is… real? You’re here with me?”

“Yes.” Deet said simply before Rian threw his arms around her into a hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he breathed Deet in, an instant relief washed over him. “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you again. What happened to you? Are you here inside the castle? Are the Skeksis’ holding you prisoner?”

She stiffly responded before backing up to look into Rian’s concerned eyes. 

“I’m here by choice.” 

This he couldn’t understand. 

“By choice? Why would you—”

Rian studied Deet again. His smile quickly faded. Her change in attire and unfamiliar characteristics. Her choice of all places to meet. She was being compelled by the Darkening. 

“Rian listen. I needed to see you. I realized this whole time, the Sanctuary Tree has been depriving Thra of greatness. This power—”

“This power is changing you.” he said sternly. 

Deet shook her head. “This power is _helping_ me. It’s a force of nature that I can’t explain. I needed to come to the Skeksis’ Castle and find out more about what The Emperor was so keen on doing with it. He trusts me, Rian and now _I_ have control.”

“No, no,” Rian countered. “The Darkening. Its energy is evil, remember? It caused Nurlocs to be unkind, it prompted you to kill a Skeksis…”

“And what was wrong with that? They were ready to kill you all. I saved everyone, and in doing so I obtain this power. Before I was a meek naive Gelfling and now… I’m so much more.” 

“You were always so much more.” He said, stepping a bit closer to her. She smiled. 

“Look,” Deet gestured to herself. “Those ugly markings have removed themselves from my skin. I intend to put the Darkening’s powers to good use. Cause Thra to thrive, make the land be lushious instead of draining everything, so I received recompense. Emperor skekSo showed me where he tended to the Darkening. Now I can tend to it, help it grow and spread, but in the right way.”

Rian winced when Deet called the Skeksis by his true name. Everything Deet said gave him an unsettling hunch. If she was planning to somehow convert the Darkening’s powers for virtuous acts instead of using it for evil doings, why did everything around him feel so wrong? 

“What do I have to do with all of this?” 

“Rian, please. You have everything to do with this.” Her expression turned soft, and her voice was reminiscent of how it used to sound. 

“We’ll reunite the Skeksis’ and Mystics. They’ll go back to their true homeland, leaving the castle empty. We don’t have an All-Maudra anymore so there’s no one to oversee the Gelfling clans. I thought, maybe, you and I could take on that role as a pair.”

Rian swallowed hard. He wanted to believe there was still goodness inside of her, but how could he be sure she was telling the truth… 

Rian was beginning to think she had the ability to read his mind. 

“Don’t you trust me?” She sighed. “Rian you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to see you but I had to wait for the right moment, ‘till I received all the information I needed. I have that now. I used a lot of strength to bring you here and offer it all up to _you_. Storm the castle tomorrow. Bring our friends along. Let’s take back what’s rightfully ours. Wouldn’t you like that? To do something together…” she moved even closer, closing the gap between them. 

Her lips were spellbinding. However their kiss was over before it began as Rian jerked his head and searched her eyes. He was taken aback by her new sense of confidence. Rian wished Deet felt as he did, since after they met their connection had only grown deeper, but they never openly got the chance to admit it, or act on it. 

“It’s okay.” She reassured, her eyes firmly trained on his lips. 

“What is?” His voice was quiet as he remained unsure of himself. This wasn’t like the Deet he remembered. 

“This,” She said, grabbing onto his hands. “I know you feel like you’re betraying Mira,” Rian took a sharp inhale at the blunt mention of Mira, and Deet’s accurate fact on why he’d been a bit reluctant, “But you’re not. You’ve always hoped for this. I’ve known for a while and I want you, too. What you said to me about a better life, I want that,” Deet gently placed Rian’s hands on her face, teasing to kiss him again before guiding their hands slowly down her body. “Let yourself give in…”

“Deet…” His brain wanted to protest but his hands told a different story. He pulled Deet closer and they met once more for an open mouthed kiss. 

Their lips were set aflame as their kiss was hot and urgent. Deet knew ways he couldn’t believe. She yanked on his hair and smirked against his lips. He saw a white light flash through his eyelids. For a brief second, Rian thought it might’ve been the effects of True Love’s Kiss. His mother used to tell him stories about it when he was a childling. Perhaps the darkness was turning into light, he had helped Deet realize who she was again—

That moment was over when he heard Brea’s voice. 

“Deet stop!” 

Rian’s eyes shot open and he noticed Brea running over to them.

“Brea! Come for a taste?” 

Rian looked at Deet incredulously as Brea shoved Rian back and created a barrier between him and Deet. 

“Or did you just ruin all the fun we were having because you wanted yet another male added to your list? I mean, really Brea. Kylan, Rek’yr, and now you’re pulling Rian away from me even though you know he’s _mine_? who’s your next target, Gurjin? Or that red headed paladin who served your mother?” Deet sneered at her. 

Brea’s chest was heaving. Rian could tell she was fuming. 

“Rian don’t listen to her. It’s the Darkening talking. Everything she’s told you is a lie. This isn’t the Deet we know and love.”

Deet laughed. “Rian, Brea’s only saying that because she wants to be the All-Maudra.”

“Tell the truth.” Brea hissed. 

“Fine. If brave Rian agreed to embrace the darkness, I’m certain the other Gelflings would soon follow. I’d cease the Garthim attacks. The Resistance likes you Rian and they’d do anything their leader recommends.”

Rian was in anguish. 

Deet had merely been trying to lure him into a trap. Just like the Skeksis’ intended. Have everyone and everything in Thra turn dark.

“The Resistance don’t have to _do_ anything. They choose to follow a just cause and fight for our home.” Rian could barely look Deet in the eye. “You’ve been letting the Garthim attack Gelfling? And us, the very people you used to care about?”

“I wasn’t lying, I meant what I said to you. I want to rule the world and I want you to be by my side when that happens.” Deet tried to move closer but Brea defensively put her hand up. 

“ _Stay back.”_ Brea warned. 

“All right. I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.” Deet narrowed her eyes. Suddenly her arms started to turn purple and her eyes flared a deeper shade than her brown ones ever did. 

Rian sadly discovered the veins created from the Darkening never disappeared from Deet’s body. They only became visible when when she used her powers.

Rian watched in horror as Deet’s powers started swirling around the three of them. Thunder and lightning crackled inside of the castle. The air was beginning to feel thinner and thinner. Deet zapped a space on the floor right near Brea’s foot. 

“Rian, you’ve got to wake up now. Please. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” Brea started to repeat, violently shaking his arm. 

… 

“Wake up!”

Rian sat up, drenched in sweat. Brea was kneeling beside him, her chest was still heaving. 

He spoke to her with his eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I was a fool.’ is what he translated.

Brea’s voice was coarse. 

“You started to make noise in your sleep. I heard it from across the way and came to check on you. You looked… like you were in some sort of trance. Then I remembered you looked exactly how Kylan described when a Gelfling goes into Dreamspace. Dreamspace has been created a few times, like when Mother Aughra first joined us all together but only extremely powerful beings have the ability to do that.”

“How did you manage to get through to me?”

“Well I just touched your hand and I was shown everything Deet told you, it felt like Dreamfasting. I kept thinking I needed to warn you somehow, and I guess it worked.”

Rian shook his head. 

“I’m so sorry Brea. I put you in danger. I don’t know what I was thinking. Deet appeared and I knew she wasn’t acting the same, but I missed her so much and I thought that… I wanted to believe that…” He took a shaky breath. “She doesn’t know who she is anymore. She’s lost her morals and put her faith in the Skeksis’ and left Gelflings behind. What will we tell her family? I don’t want to fight our best friend. I… I loved her, I _still_ love her, Thra be damned.” 

Brea held Rian close, rocking them lightly. 

“Sometimes we want things to go back to the way they were before so badly, that we convince ourselves to believe in the bad. Even if we know in our hearts that’s not good.” 

Brea sniffled and met his eyes. 

“Deet’s been led down a dark path. That doesn’t mean she can’t be reminded of who she truly is. We can save her. We know her location, now all we have to focus on is finding a way to eliminate the Darkening.”

Brea was right. He thought about what Deet had to keep reminding him in the times where he doubted any Gelflings were going to join the Resistance. She would tell him to “have hope.” 

Deet had hope for him, so now Rian will have to have hope for her.

**Author's Note:**

> This was painful to write. It’s so angsty and definitely different from the happy lighthearted stories I usually post. 
> 
> Originally I was going to have Rian open his eyes and realize Deet was fully consumed, but I wanted Brea to be the savior for this one. 
> 
> I highly suggest listen to Vancouver Sleep Clinic’s song of the same name as the title. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Feedback is much appreciated.


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